Why Women Get UTIs — (Part 1)

Real Women, Real Bodies, Real Bladder Health

You have your handbag balanced on one shoulder. Your phone is in your hand. Perhaps a toddler is holding onto your leg while you try not to touch anything in a public bathroom.

You hover above the toilet seat, hurry your urine out, wipe quickly and leave.

Later, you are cooking, answering messages and trying to finish one more task. You feel the urge to urinate, but the food is on the stove and someone needs you. So you hold it.

Again.

These ordinary moments may appear insignificant, yet they reveal something important: women are frequently expected to care for everyone and everything while ignoring their own bodies.

A urinary tract infection is not a punishment for being unhygienic. It is usually a bacterial infection, most commonly affecting the bladder. Approximately half of women will experience a bladder infection during their lifetime, and about one-quarter of those women will experience another one.

What Is a UTI?

The urinary tract consists of:

• The kidneys, which filter the blood and produce urine.
• The ureters, which carry urine to the bladder.
• The bladder, which stores urine.
• The urethra, which carries urine out of the body.

A lower urinary tract infection generally affects the urethra or bladder. A kidney infection affects the upper urinary tract and is more serious.

Typical bladder infection symptoms include:

• Burning or pain when urinating.
• A frequent or urgent need to urinate.
• Passing only a small amount of urine.
• Lower abdominal pressure or discomfort.
• Cloudy, strong-smelling or blood-stained urine.
• Feeling unusually tired or unwell.

Fever, chills, vomiting or pain in the back or side can indicate that the infection has moved towards the kidneys and requires urgent medical attention.

Why Are Women More Vulnerable?

1. Our anatomy creates a shorter route for bacteria

The female urethra is shorter than the male urethra and is positioned close to the vagina and anus. Bacteria from the bowel therefore have a shorter distance to travel before reaching the bladder.

This is why most UTIs are not caught from a toilet seat. They generally begin when bacteria, often from our own bowel flora, reach the urethral opening and move upwards.

This does not mean a woman is dirty. It means her anatomy requires thoughtful care.

2. We postpone urinating because everyone needs something

Many women hold their urine because they are working, travelling, teaching, breastfeeding, cooking, caring for children or simply unable to find a clean bathroom.

However, repeatedly delaying urination may make it harder for the bladder to empty properly. Urine remaining in the bladder gives bacteria more opportunity to multiply.

The bladder is not being difficult when it sends an urge. It is communicating.

3. We hover over public toilets

Research has found that hovering is common among women using public bathrooms. The problem is that the half-squat position may keep parts of the pelvic floor activated instead of allowing them to relax fully. This can reduce urine flow and contribute to incomplete emptying.

You do not have to sit on a visibly dirty surface. However, where the seat can be cleaned or safely covered, sitting with your feet supported and your body relaxed is generally better for bladder emptying than hovering.

Do not push or “power pee.” Urination should happen through bladder contraction and pelvic-floor relaxation, not force.

4. We rush before the bladder has finished

A woman may be physically sitting, yet mentally she is already back at the stove, in the meeting or outside the school gate.

Try giving your bladder a few additional seconds. Relax your jaw, soften your stomach and breathe out slowly. When the initial stream ends, remain seated briefly rather than immediately jumping up.

A relaxed bladder empties more effectively than a rushed one.

Sex, Friction and UTIs

Sex does not mean that either partner is unclean. However, sexual activity can move bacteria around the vulva and towards the urethral opening. Frequent intercourse, a new sexual routine, inadequate lubrication and certain contraceptive methods can increase risk for some women.

Diaphragms and spermicides are recognised UTI risk factors. Women who repeatedly develop infections after sex should discuss contraception, vaginal dryness, lubrication and preventive options with a qualified healthcare professional.

Urinating after intimacy is a simple, low-risk habit commonly recommended to help flush away bacteria that may have entered the urethra, although no single bathroom habit can guarantee prevention.

When dryness or friction is present, intimate care matters. Aphrodite’s Garden’s Love Intimate Massage Balm & Lubricant melts with body warmth to provide botanical glide and external intimate comfort. It does not treat or prevent a UTI, and users should follow the product instructions and check compatibility with their chosen contraception.

Pregnancy Changes the Urinary System

Pregnancy changes both the structure and function of the urinary tract.

Hormonal changes relax smooth muscle, while the growing uterus places increasing pressure on the bladder and urinary passages. These changes can encourage slower urine flow, residual urine and urinary stasis.

A UTI in pregnancy must not be treated as an ordinary inconvenience. Infections during pregnancy are more likely to spread to the kidneys and have been associated with complications including preterm birth and low birth weight. Pregnant women are also screened because bacteria can sometimes be present without obvious symptoms.

Any burning, urgency, blood in the urine, unusual pelvic pain or fever during pregnancy should be reported promptly to a doctor, midwife or maternity unit.

Postpartum: When Everything Feels Tender

After birth, a woman may be managing:

• Perineal swelling, bruising or stitches.
• A caesarean incision.
• Difficulty sensing when her bladder is full.
• Fear of urinating because the area is tender.
• Dehydration and exhaustion.
• Catheter use during or after labour.
• A baby who needs her almost constantly.

Urinary catheterisation and certain birth procedures can increase postpartum UTI risk. Operative delivery has also been associated with a higher risk of postpartum infection in some studies.

Postpartum burning should not automatically be assumed to be a UTI. Urine passing over stitches, tears or irritated skin can also burn. However, persistent burning, urgency, fever, abdominal pain or feeling acutely unwell deserves assessment.

For external postpartum comfort, women may explore Aphrodite’s Garden’s Perineum Spray Soother and Perineum Soak Herbal Sitz Bath Salts. These products are intended to support tender perineal skin after birth; they do not enter the urinary tract or treat a bacterial infection.

Perimenopause and Menopause

As oestrogen levels decline, vulval and vaginal tissue may become thinner, drier and more vulnerable to irritation. The vaginal microbiome can also change, with fewer protective Lactobacillus bacteria in some women.

This combination can contribute to dryness, painful sex, urinary urgency and recurrent UTIs.

External moisture and reduced friction can improve comfort, although they do not replace assessment for recurrent infections. Aphrodite’s Garden’s Perineum Balm – Nourishing Moisture for the Vaginal Area is formulated to moisturise and soften external perineal and vulval tissue during pregnancy and the peri/menopause years. It is supportive intimate skincare, not a UTI medicine.

Women experiencing recurrent UTIs after menopause should also speak to a qualified clinician. Current urology guidelines include medical options that address the tissue changes associated with lower oestrogen.

Do We Store Emotions in Our Hips?

Many women describe “carrying” fear, grief or stress in the hips and pelvis. This language can be meaningful emotionally, but there is no evidence that emotions literally become stored in the hip joints or that emotions create a bacterial UTI.

There is, however, a genuine relationship between stress and muscular tension.

When the nervous system remains on alert, some women unconsciously tighten their stomach, buttocks, jaw and pelvic floor. A pelvic floor that struggles to relax can contribute to pelvic pain, painful sex, urinary frequency and difficulty beginning or maintaining a urine stream.

Therefore, breathwork, gentle movement, rest, counselling and pelvic-floor physiotherapy may form part of holistic bladder care—not because stress is the bacterium, but because the nervous system affects how the pelvic muscles function.

When “Another UTI” May Be Something Else

Burning and urinary urgency can also occur with:

• Vaginal dryness or irritation.
• Yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis.
• Sexually transmitted infections.
• Pelvic-floor tension.
• Bladder pain syndrome or interstitial cystitis.
• Kidney stones.
• Vulval skin conditions.

Repeatedly taking remedies without confirming the cause may delay appropriate care. Recurrent symptoms deserve urine testing and a wider conversation about vaginal health, hormones, pelvic-floor function, diabetes, contraception and bladder emptying.

A More Compassionate Question

Instead of asking, “What did I do wrong?” ask:

What was my body trying to communicate before the infection began?

Perhaps you were dehydrated. Perhaps you were holding your urine. Perhaps sex had become uncomfortable. Perhaps you were newly postpartum, entering menopause or living under relentless stress.

None of this is about blame. It is about body literacy.

Continue the series: Part 2: UTI Healing Support—What Helps, What Does Not and When Medical Care Matters

“Self-care begins when we stop treating our body’s messages as interruptions and start receiving them as guidance.”